everytime i see my timetable, i could only sigh. but. i have to keep telling myself that "i could do this, i wanted this, and i wont regret it" and i seriously hope that i could still say this after week 7, or even before finals.
but, it seems really taxing. to an extent that i am just going to do my own way. it is tough to plan timetables with friends. really. and i think i am just going to stick to what i have planned.
sometimes, i get really moody at night, thinking about the past actions that i have done in the day.
i cared too much about other peoples' feelings that i am not showing my feelings. and no one knows it. this is bad as people may think that i am easy to bully. but i am not. okay.
and even though i want to say i dont care, i really care. it hurts actually, to see that someone that matters to you the most, and thought that u mattered to her as well, does not really matter your feelings. since you dont really cared about our feelings, i dont care about hurting your feelings either. prolly this is what people called xiao xin yan, but i really dont know how i should react. and it hurts to see that you are not as important as you thought in her life. things change, people change, priorities change.
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